ok that sounded weird… but I hope you know what I mean!

I always feel like I’m returning ‘home’ when I go to Thetis (maybe because it feels like the closest place to heaven on earth), and this time, going with my BFF’s made it extra special. We laughed, cried, prayed, ate delicious food, and all around had a fabulous time.

Now, more than ever I know that I want to just throw my life into the hands of God and go where He takes me. I feel free and abundantly loved.

Life is good. Life is hard, but God is good.

How gut wrenchingly awful, that we put our city out there on the world stage, only to begin the celebrations with the tragedy of the loss of human life.

As I head downtown to watch the opening ceremonies at one of the outdoor live venues, my heart weighs heavily with the knowledge that an individual lost their life because of some inane (IMO) sport. Is competition/sport worth it? Is that what makes the luge exciting?

Sigh. I knew something had to go wrong, sooner rather than later (other than the fact that I waited a good 40 minutes for a bus today, due to the olympic torch going through DT and the protesters that blocked it).

And now? I don’t really have a job (I do nanny 2x a week or so and work a bit from home but no steady employment), and I am home alone most days. Running errands. Cooking. Cleaning. Knitting… being *shudder* domestic.

I admit it. I looked down on women who married and then stopped working. I looked down on those who didn’t want to work. And then, because of circumstances beyond my control I have no job. Being stuck in the position I am now utterly depresses me.

I am unhappy.

But God puts us where we are for a reason. I can desperately search for a job but I cannot accomplish anything with my own resources. I need Jesus. I have been getting nowhere with on my own initiative.

Maybe it’s time for me to surrender, let go, and just be. Embrace this time in my life. This calm, quiet, non-stressful (although I make it stressful by spazzing out because I do not having a job) time.

I’ll also admit, I felt that I had more value when I was (overly) busy. With lack of things to do does my value also lack? Am I less of a person? Am I just a drain on my husbands financial resources? Or am I contributing in some way by just waiting and listening to God?

I have decided I must embrace it: I am a wife. A housewife. I work in my home and from it. I am who God made me to be and my value is not in what I do for a living – it’s in who I am and who I am meant to be.

It’s so easy to get caught up in what the world tells us is right for a recent university graduate, at 24 years of age, to be doing whit her life. But what really matters? Your job title? Salary? Net worth?

I don’t want to waste my life – I want to live for God and nothing/no one else. And I can do that from home. He has me here for a reason. I just have to trust that He knows whats best. He has a plan, and it’s richer than I could ever imagine.

Love,

Heather

I have been at the park with young children enough times to know that there are approximately three types of parents: those that seek to exude perfection (“no, little Jimmy never wet the bed. He was potty trained in 3 minutes. He never whines. And of course he eats all his vegetables!”), like parenting is some sort of competition; those that complain every damn second about their child and how terrible they are (“I can’t get Sally to listen. I’m so exhausted all the time because she runs me ragged. She never eats her food. She fights with her sister all the time. And don’t even get me started on Betsy.”), like children are a burden and an inconvenience; and the very rare, honest parent.

An honest parent is someone who recognizes the challenges of raising children, knows that it is/will be difficult, but chooses to enjoy their child for who they are, as they are, and love them to pieces. The honest parent makes those without children want to have children. The first two types of parents are both liars: the “perfect” parent has to be, because no child is perfect; and negative parent is also lying to imply that they get no joy out of their child – they might not see any good in their child at the moment for some reason, but every child is here because God gave them to us and all have value. No child cannot be loved (I admit though, some are harder to love than others…).

I want to be the type of parent that enjoys their children to the fullest. The type of parent that doesn’t care how messy the kids/house/dog is. The type of parent that goes with the flow and remembers that kids grow up very quickly and to enjoy them while they can.

This woman inspires me: http://enjoyingthesmallthings.blogspot.com/

Especially this story (be sure to have tissues on hand): http://enjoyingthesmallthings.blogspot.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html

I’m not planning on popping out any of my own brood out anytime soon, but I am learning: about God, about myself, and about how I want to parent. There is no harm in being prepared!

Love!

Heather

The other day I was out for my run (after running through all of my usual excuses), and I came to the point in my run where I could either turn left and run home on a flat route, or I could turn right, run up a really big hill, and then run home. I debated for a full block what to do. Left or right, the easy way or the hard way. I decided LEFT, but then at the last minute turned right to face the hill. As I rounded the corner and faced my scary demon hill, I realized, it’s not that big! It was definitely not as big as I remembered it, and I got to the top really quickly. No biggie at all.

So, ask yourself, and I’ll ask myself:

1) What am I making excuses for?

and

2) What ‘big hill’ are you not facing because your afraid it might be to big? You might find it’s really not that huge after all…

Greg and I went out for brekkie today as the fire alarms kept going off and driving us NUTS, and he had the day off due to a dentist appointment. Thats the only thing I’ve eaten, other than a banana and the tea.  I’ve been working on my statement for midwifery ever since and haven’t got to far. Ok thats not entirely true – I talked for 2 hours on skype with my good friend Jacquie who lives in geneva. But still, I haven’t got very far in the time I have been working on it… It has to be done by friday though so it WILL get done sooner rather than later. Just praying for the right words to say.

Now, what should I make for dinner?

No, it’s time to get sick! Atleast, I’m getting sick. I’ve had strep throat at least once per winter since I was in grade 4 (one year I had it 7 times!), and last year I had strep throat combined with pneumonia. It was the highlight of my year. When I woke up this morning with a sore throat, I hoped it was just early morning throat scratchiness that would go away after my run.

Nope.

I’ve been working at home all day, and surprise surprise I have been feeling achier and achier and my throat has been getting worse. I totally thought I would skip the strep this year, seeing as I have been so diligent about my diet and exercising regularly. But of course, that all slipped during the holidays and my immune system obviously took a hit.

So, what have I been doing to see that I recover quickly? (hopefully by tomorrow… is that wishful thinking?) Well, resting for one thing. I took a ‘nap’ for about 20 mins (I didn’t sleep but I rested with my eyes closed… it’s as close as I usually get to napping), and I really haven’t done to much today.

I’ve also brewed myself a ‘tea’ of hot water, ginger, lemon, cayenne pepper, and manuka honey (a suggestion taken from Kevin and Annemarie at the Renegade Health show… google it if your curious). I drank a pot of it earlier and just brewed my second pot and am waiting for it to steep properly. Its really quite delicious if you get the proportions right! If you don’t get it quite right just add a lot of honey and it will taste fine

I’ll let you know, blog readers, if I feel any better tomorrow. I hope so because I have to get this darn application in for Midwifery…

If it turns out I do have strep I’m going to try and kick it without the antibiotics…we’ll see if I can get rid of it for good.

Love! Wishing you all a healthy winter season.

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” – a verse from Job I think.

I feel called to midwifery, and feel a passion for it that I have to believe is a Godly one. I just pray every day that this is part of the plan that God has for me and I’m not just chasing after air.